A Robot History of the MISL

If you were a Cockney robot, how would you describe the story of the MISL?

Believe it or not, it’s not possible to be a full-time indoor soccer writer. I hope I haven’t dashed any dreams with that last sentence. One of the other things I’ve done to pay the bills this past year is training artificial intelligence (AI) for a company in Silicon Valley. There’s no better way to get in good with our future Robot Overlords than to do their bidding early on in their development.

Over the last few years I’ve experimented with asking various AI platforms about the MISL. Two years ago, it produced an error-filled mess. But no longer. It keeps getting better and better. So, here’s a history of the MISL, in a Cockney accent, provided by a prominent AI platform:

“ ‘ello Guvna! I’ll be your Cockney AI bot today!”

Alright mate, let’s take a wander down memory lane and talk about the Major Indoor Soccer League (MISL), the original one, right? Now, this ain't your usual footie history. It ain't ‘bout blokes kickin' a ball around on a muddy pitch, nah. This is footie indoors, mate, where the rules are a bit twisty, and the action’s quick as a whippet.

The MISL first kicked off in 1978, right in the States, which ain’t exactly known for bein’ mad ‘bout soccer, at least back then. You see, Americans were more into their gridiron football, baseball, and basketball, y’know, the kind of sports where they wear pads or need a bat. But this was a time when they were tryin' to make soccer a big deal. You had the North American Soccer League (NASL) with legends like Pele playin’ in the outdoors, but indoors? That was somethin’ a bit new.

Right, so picture it – the MISL starts up in 1978, founded by a geezer called Earl Foreman. Now, Earl, he weren’t a football bloke by birth. Nah, he had a background in law and a bit of basketball business as well. But he had this bright idea of bringin’ football indoors – bit mad if you think ‘bout it. I mean, where’s the grass, eh? But that’s the thing, there ain’t none. The pitch was artificial turf, like playin’ footie on a carpet. And instead of a big ol’ pitch, you had an arena, smaller and boxed in, like playin’ five-a-side in your local gym but with thousands watchin’. And blimey, did it get quick!

So, the first season kicked off with six teams. Some of ‘em were taken from outdoor leagues like the NASL, but most of 'em were fresh new sides. The format was a bit different too – it weren’t like your normal footie match where you had two halves of 45 minutes each. Nah, they broke it down into quarters, like in basketball. And there were no draws, mate – if the game ended all square, they’d have a bloomin' shootout! Can you imagine? A proper shootout, like they do in hockey. It were wild!

The teams, now they had some names you wouldn’t forget in a hurry. There were the Cincinnati Kids, Philadelphia Fever, and the New York Arrows – sounds more like superhero gangs than football clubs, don’t it? But these teams, they had some cracking players. The New York Arrows were the first proper dynasty of the league. They had this fella, Steve Zungul, a Yugoslav bloke who was a magician with the ball. He was the top scorer season after season; a proper legend in the indoor game.

The sport was fast-paced, I tell ya. Goals were flyin’ in left, right, and center. See, in outdoor footie, if you get three goals in a game, that’s a good day. In the MISL, you could see six, seven, even eight goals in a single match, easy! It was all action, all the time. And the fans loved it. The arenas were packed with people who’d never even watched soccer before. They were there for the buzz, the excitement, the non-stop action.

One thing that made the MISL stand out was its focus on entertainment. You know, Americans love a bit of showbiz, don’t they? Well, the MISL leaned right into that. They had lights flashin’, music blarin’, and cheerleaders dancin’. It was footie, but it felt more like a rock concert or a circus. It weren’t just about the sport; it was about puttin' on a show. That’s part of why it caught on for a bit – people came for the spectacle as much as the match.

But it weren’t all smooth sailin'. Nah, like a lot of things in footie, there were bumps in the road. The league expanded too quick, and with expansion comes problems. They started addin' more teams all over the shop, and some of ‘em struggled to get bums on seats. You know how it goes – one minute, you’ve got a full house, next minute, it’s crickets in the stands. Some clubs folded, others relocated. There was a bit of a financial mess goin’ on behind the scenes, but they tried to keep the show goin'.

Now, the game itself – it was different, like I said. You had boards around the pitch, like in hockey, and the ball never went out of play unless it went over the top. So, it was non-stop. If you had a speedy winger, they could use the boards to bounce the ball around a defender, like a bloomin’ pinball! And with smaller goals and shorter halves, the pressure was on to score as much as possible. Defenders and goalkeepers had to be on their toes, or they’d be pickin’ the ball out the net every few minutes.

As the 80s rolled on, the league had its ups and downs. The Arrows kept dominatin’ at the start, but new teams came through like the San Diego Sockers, who went on to become the next big dynasty after the Arrows faded. The Sockers, mate, they were the real deal. They won championships year after year, led by blokes like Zoltan Toth in goal and the ever-deadly Juli Veee. They turned indoor soccer into an art form.

But by the time the 90s rolled around, the cracks were showin’. The league had grown too big for its boots, and the novelty was wearin' off. See, the outdoor game started pickin' up a bit more steam again, especially with the 1994 World Cup comin’ to the States. Indoor soccer was startin’ to feel like a fad that was fadin’ away. Attendance dropped, TV deals dried up, and the money problems just got worse.

In 1992, the original MISL finally packed it in. It had a good run, nearly 14 years, but in the end, it couldn’t keep up with the financial strain. The game itself didn’t disappear, though. Nah, indoor soccer carried on in different forms – you had other leagues poppin’ up, tryin’ to keep the dream alive, but the glory days of the MISL were over.

But here’s the thing, mate – even though it’s gone, the MISL left a proper legacy. It gave footie a different twist, a new way to enjoy the beautiful game. And it showed that soccer, in any form, could be exciting in the States. Plus, it laid the groundwork for future indoor leagues and helped keep soccer on the radar until Major League Soccer (MLS) came along a few years later.

So there you go, mate. That’s the story of the original MISL – a wild, fast-paced, high-scoring, rock ‘n’ roll version of football that burned bright but burned out quick. But for those who were there, it’s remembered as somethin’ special, somethin' a bit different from your usual Saturday down the pub watchin’ the footie. It was short, it was sweet, and it was full of goals. What more could you ask for?